Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Eve of National Day Career Reflection

Teachers are like farmers. There are tough days when the weather seems wrong and the results don't match your hard work. Nevertheless, don't lose your heart, just be steadfast to keep sowing and weeding out, harvest comes after rain, sweat and tears. 🌈🌾

Sunday, December 15, 2019

No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets.

In 1904 William Borden, heir to the Borden Dairy Estate, graduated from a Chicago high school a millionaire. His parents gave him a trip around the world. Traveling through Asia, the Middle East, and Europe gave Borden a burden for the world’s hurting people. Writing home, he said, “I’m going to give my life to prepare for the mission field.”

When he made this decision, he wrote in the back of his Bible two words: No Reserves. Turning down high paying job offers after graduation from Yale University, he entered two more words in his Bible: No Retreats.

Completing studies at Princeton Seminary, Borden sailed for China to work with Muslims, stopping first at Egypt for some preparation. While there he was stricken with cerebral meningitis and died within a month. A waste, you say! Not in God’s plan. In his Bible underneath the words No Reserves and No Retreats, he had written the words No Regrets.
Excerpt from Our Daily Bread, December 31, 1988

Monday, November 25, 2019

把握时机

信主多年后,渐渐地我也变成了一位典型的基督徒。觉得有事奉、有做十一奉献、有向身边的人传福音、有在社会上做好榜样,那就够了。但更多的时候,祷告是为自己、为自己的家人或是为熟悉的朋友求。求主赐福并且不要把我们已得的恩典拿走。

每次唱一些为主献上的歌曲时都很心虚,嘴里说的是我愿为袮去,主我跟袮走,但其实内心想的是请找我隔壁那位看起来更有才华,更愿意献上的弟兄或姐妹;而我会为他/她祷告的。至于生活在无拉港这个人口非常多元化的地方,我更是练就了眼中只有同文化的自己人。可以很轻易地就忽视在路上行走,在餐馆服务,在社区邻里生活的异族人。

直到2017年开始,上帝让我的信仰生涯开始出现转折。上帝差派化身为平凡人的奇特天使和透过“把握时机”宣教生命课程不断地和我说话,告诉我祂真正的心意。而我也慢慢学习像马利亚一般的专注聆听, 而不再像马大一样的忙进忙出 - 做得多,却听从得少。

自从2007年开始执教以来,我也在我的学校担当起校队篮球教练的职务。那是我的兴趣与其中的一个热情所在,也好希望能让它成为多一个平台去宣扬福音。但我却做得不怎么样,更多时候还是和别的教练一样被胜负牵引着心旋。

在2016年尾,当我带领我的小球员到MABA篮球馆观赏ABL职业球赛时,有一位美国教练看到我穿着林书豪的球衣又带着一群学生球员时便上前来介绍自己是一位基督徒并询问我是否有意和他的球队进行友谊赛。看在大家都热爱篮球也都是基督徒我也一口气就答应他了。

三个月后他先带领他的球队来到我校进行校史上第一场的跨国友谊赛,再半年后我和学校的团队也带领我们的小球员去到苏拉威西岛(Sulawesi)的望加锡(Makassar)和班坦(Bantaeng) 创下当地的小童篮球历史和他们进行了几场的友谊赛并让球员们参与了一个历时几天的篮球技术营。当时不单是上了当地报纸,还被邀请到班坦的皇府与当地的皇室成员共进晚餐,让我们一行42人都非常地受宠若惊。

这全都是因为这一位JL教练(为保护他的事工不便透露真名)是当地一位受敬重的外国教练。他从大学时期开始对印尼产生属灵负担,后来便来到雅加达修读硕士。完成学业后,他放弃了美国大学优厚薪酬的工作机会,带着妻子儿女举家搬到望加锡开办篮球学院接触当地居民。他与一位印尼巴布亚传道一起创办的地下教会由几人开始到我有幸藉着机会参加他们的崇拜时人数已达上百人,整间店屋楼上都挤满了人。

当晚的讲员(也是一位美国的运动宣教士)提到眼前的情景就像启示录7章9至10节所说,“此后我观看,见有许多的人,没有人能数过来,是从各国、各族、各民、各方来的,站在宝座和羔羊面前,身穿白衣,手拿棕树枝, 大声喊着说:“愿救恩归于坐在宝座上我们的神,也归于羔羊!” 当中有M族归信者,华侨,外表像非洲人的巴布亚人和好几位的白人。席地而坐在角落头的我顿时醒悟上帝把我带到那里原来并不是为了篮球,而是让我瞥见天堂跨文化的奥秘。

第二年,JL带着一位M族归信者和三位自费飞了20个小时,15千公里的美国职业教练来到我的小小学校再次为孩子们举办一场三天的美式篮球营。他们在每一次的练习后都会聚集孩子们与他们分享一些圣经故事,鼓励他们追求正面的价值观。这是上帝特别施恩于我让我能亲身观摩如何在各式教育平台上为主作出改变。我也从害怕在工作场合公开谈讲主耶稣的爱到真正活出保罗所说的”我不以福音为耻”。

现在我家和JL一家九口(他们生养众多有七个孩子!)已有了密切的互联见面鼓励的关系。当有一次我俩发现我们原来是同年,同月,同日出生时,我们都起了鸡皮疙瘩,知道一切都是上帝早已安排好的奇妙计划。但当时的我还是以为人生好消息有告诉身边的人就好了。

同年10月我参加了教会第一次开办的”把握时机“课程。这是一个40小时的密集课程,还有很多的功课要在当中完成。老实说,我一开始是万般不愿意的,心想我可以逃课吗?但当我终于顺服认真地在课程中学习时,我是戴上了如教会也上了课的荷莉姐妹所形容的属灵眼镜,看清自己的自大,真正了解上帝的心意。

各个课程组件都以直达心坎的方式引领学员们一步一步贴近上帝的普世胸怀。从事不关己到如何参与在上帝的计划当中它都能让学员们有许多的看见和亮光。参与这个课程从学员到成为协助的导师,我所看到的是几乎每一位参与其中的都被许许多多的见证所感动,几乎都会有所回应。

我和我太太也不例外,正在持续回应着。课程是上完了,可是我俩的宣教生命却不断被更新。身为公务员,本该汲汲营营努力到准时退休便可以靠着两人加起来丰富的退休金安然度过晚年。但是现在我们更想做的是安排提早退休,以便于在有限的壮年时期能完全背负起十字架,更深入的参与在各种宣教机会当中。

我们也改变了我们的生活方式更多的操练简朴,为给而活。大量减少到消费比较昂贵的餐厅吃饭,把省下来的钱更多的去资助各差会的宣教士。我们也常常为不同的族群祷告,把访宣放在每一年的旅游计划当中。对于住在无拉港的外来移民,我们现在都好想能多关心他们。我和我妈妈旧家的罗兴亚租户当起了朋友,也透过装修工程有了一位来自泗水的印尼友人。

由于这个宣教课程大大的激励了我们,让我们明白上帝从创始至终都爱每一个族群,祂更要透过耶稣的追随者去让每一个族群都得救,因此我们也担起了动员者的责任,鼓励更多的教会肢体也愿意让上帝透过这个课程去启发他们,让宣教融入在每一位信徒的日常生活里,不分彼此,齐心合力完成大使命。

至此,我已经清楚了解上帝这两三年来给予我奇妙带领背后的目的。上帝没有呼召每一个人都去当宣教士,但是上帝呼召每一位信徒都要在大使命当中背负起各自的责任。就像William Borden所写下的,”毫无保留、毫不撤退、毫不后悔。”


Friday, April 26, 2019

The Music of Silence

Every life is a wonderful story worthy of being told.
Every life is a work of art, and if it does not seem so, perhaps it is only necessary to illuminate the room that contains it.
The secret is never to lose faith, to have confidence in God’s plan for us, revealed in the signs with which He shows us the way.
If you learn to listen, you will find that each life speaks to us of love. Because love is the key to everything, the engine of the world.
Love is the secret energy behind every note I sing.
And never forget that there’s no such thing as happenstance. That’s an illusion lawless and arrogant men invented so that they could sacrifice the truth of our world to the laws of reason.
--- 
A letter by Andrea Bocelli to his wife and children

Sunday, April 21, 2019

A Beautiful Poem Hidden in 'Music and Lyrics'

Dream Box
by Sophie Fisher

I put my dreams in a box
so they’ll never spoil,
Hidden from the sunlight,
underneath the soil.
You can never be too
careful with a secret
as someone once said,
But would it be safer to keep
it locked up in my head?



Sunday, May 13, 2018

Parents' Day Reflection

我有很多的称呼我都很喜欢。但是有一个称呼总会让我心软、让我感恩,有时也好到让我怀疑是不是在做梦。那个称呼就是“爸爸”。每当我的两个儿子呼叫我作“爸爸”,他们的小手牵住我的大手时,我都不会觉得是理所当然,而是不可思议。如果你已不相信奇迹,让我告诉你,小生命的形成就是最大的奇迹。而且他还长得像你,说话像你,态度像你,就好像是一个迷你的你。

所以当圣经在诗篇127:3 说到,“儿女是耶和华所赐的产业,所怀的胎是他给的赏赐。” 我是即感恩又战战兢兢的,因为这财富是上帝特别给你的,可千万别搞砸了!我永远都会感谢我的太太,群心为我生下两个活力满点的cahaya mata。因为他们两兄弟的存在真的是光芒四射,也开阔了我们的属灵眼光让我们更能看见永恒的盼望。但我们也像以弗所书6:4所说的,“你们作父亲的,不要激怒儿女,却要照着主的教训和劝戒,养育他们。“ 

两个孩子的出生也无时无刻的提醒我和群心要孝敬我们各自的父母。这不是因为我们要得着在世长寿的应许。而是因为它像一面镜子,让我们明白到何为平凡的伟大。有时在外人看来是鼓噪乏味的琐事,煮饭、载送、训诲、陪伴,你细看时却会发现没有爱这些事都不会被做好。因此如果你问我,我会告诉你我那几乎天天在厨房里变魔术,变足四十年的母亲,她的伟大是Thomas Edison也比不上的。因为我相信就算电灯没被发明,我的母亲也一定会想出办法,在黑暗中也不会让她的孩子们挨饿。

我爱我的父母,我的妻子和我的孩子。不只是在世上,我盼望将来在天上也能和他们再相聚。因此我很感恩我们都拥有共同的信仰。我们都相信耶稣为我们在十字架上做了挽回祭,所以我们都能把我们的生命交托在上帝的手中,当我们在世上的岁月到达终点时,我们仍然能够怀着盼望,在永恒中相见。这帮助了我面对我父亲在几年前的离世。也帮助我不害怕自身的死亡。

”如今长存的有信,有望,有爱这三样,其中最大的是爱。“(哥林多前书13:13)因此我和群心为我们的两位儿子取名”坚信“和”立望“,期许他们和我们一家四口能够在主里,在家里,在他人当中一起坚立信,望,爱。继续做好我们儿女的本分,父母的身份和关爱他人的责任。哪里有爱,那里就是天堂。


Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Someone Somewhere Somehow Wrote A Great Reflection About Social Media vs Education

To all the people whom I do not know & all the people who do not know me,

(I am referring to the outrage incident on a teacher who had lost her temper in the meeting room of a secondary school in Kulim, Kedah. The following text represents her in my own perspective as contrast to the Internet’s perspective.)

I am a medical student aspiring to be a doctor someday. Before this, I was a student like everyone else, what makes me different is I was fortunate enough to be a student of this wonderful teacher that I still remember dearly today. A kind, hardworking, committed teacher who has brought up this aspiring youngster, perhaps many more.

However, it breaks my heart to learn that people won’t remember her the same way as I do from now on.

I was in Form 5 when she first came in our class, English class to be exact. Her reputation preceded her. Rumours about her wrongdoings due to her mental condition, speculations about our English class going from worse to worst had long reached our ears way before she could step foot in our class. Her voice had lost to rumours in the race of speed. Before she could speak for herself, rumours had already spoken for her.

She walked in, she smiled, not knowing that we already disliked her by default. She held the chalk, she introduced herself, not knowing that we already knew her name a long time ago. Her introduction was like every other teacher, yet she had one of the friendliest smile I have ever seen. Her English is top notch. Writing wise, eloquent, crisp, professional. Speaking wise, articulate, fluent, confident. Her vast pool of vocabulary and organic use of bombastic words left us awed. Her first lesson alone had purged all the infamous stories I had heard about her, and all that was left was a strong urge to learn more of the English language, and less of what she was “well known” for.

I had many good teachers as a student, but she was one of a kind. Every essay questions she assigned to the students, she ensured that she wrote the same essay herself, before collecting 40 copies of essays from students to mark them. The level of details in her marking was astounding. Some students were weak in sentence structures, she corrected every single one of them by writing a new one on top. Our essays were always lines of blue sandwiched between lines of red. To be frank it hurt our eyes looking at our essays being brutally splurged with red ink, but somehow it warmed my heart, especially when I read the comments she carefully wrote in the bottom. Rather than a typical “well done”, “good job” or “very good”, she never failed to write us a paragraph of feedbacks and words of encouragement.

I never understood how she was willing to spend so much time on each and every exercise book, it doesn’t make sense to me, unless she doesn’t see it as time wasting in the first place. A passion of hers? Maybe nothing noble like that, perhaps she only sees her work as a responsibility she couldn’t shed as long as there are students who want to learn English in Malaysia.

Rumour’s words sparked fear among us, rumour’s words made us forgot that she is a human being with words of her own, rumour’s words didn’t let her make her own introduction. Rumours told us who she is from “what I have heard” but not who she is as a person. Rumours made us felt like we knew so much about this teacher, but we were yet to realise how little we actually know about her. We later regret for believing rumour’s false accusation, when rumour itself shows no remorse.

Looking back, it has been 4 years since I was in Form 5. After all these years, her rumours don’t seem to cease, her reputation precedes her once again, but this time in a much larger scale, from a group of 40 students to millions of strangers on the Internet. Rumours speak for her once again. She is reduced to nothing but a video in the eyes of the Internet. The number of views, shares and comments will be open to the eyes of the Internet, but her contribution, kindness and dedication are left unknown.

I have seen many teachers losing their temper in class, and trust me, the worst tantrum I have seen was never from a teacher with mental disorder. Mentally fit teachers lose their temper too. As students we are aware that they are under a colossal amount of stress, but we will never truly understand how much they must have been through as an educator. We felt helpless at times. In class we prayed for the temper to subside as soon as possible. Now that I am a young adult, I regretted for not stepping up. I regretted for not telling them: “we understand that teachers have emotions too, but we still respect you as a great teacher.”

A lot of times when people around us are distressed, we attribute them to stress, we blame them for lacking of emotional control. We choose to step aside rather than stepping up. We believe in the people in distress more than ourselves when it comes to helping people in distress. We chose to give up every opportunity to show empathy and kindness, until the day we truly needed empathy and kindness more than anything else, but when none were received, we blame God for sending us into a cruel world.

I am not here to place blame on anyone, nor am I here to talk about the education system, school’s administration or mental disorder. I am here to share my respect towards her dedication for Malaysia’s education throughout her entire life, which should not be dismissed in any way by a 3 minutes video.

Rumours don’t build reputation, respect does.

Today, the internet has won a viral video, a teacher has lost her reputation. We entertain ourselves by judging behind the digital screen, while our children risk losing a wonderful human being as their teacher.

It frightens me, that this is a price we are willing to pay for a video to go viral.

(Excerpt from a forwarded message)


Sunday, May 3, 2015

Lessons Learnt from Ankle Injury 2015

Lessons from left foot discomfort,
lots of love, care and comfort.

My flesh may fail, but my heart is strengthened by God;
I may have to hobble to move, but my soul is serving good.

I still want to look cool because being alive isn't supposed to be uncool,
Life is short but colourful, it appears only once we've got to make it meaningful.

Now I can fit myself in others' shoes,
Empathize those who have problems to shower head to toes.

Every little encouragement is appreciated,
Every second I can still contribute will not be wasted.

Thank you, and thank God (^_^)


Thursday, February 21, 2013

阿爸,再见!

三十二年来,我第一次没有爸爸,变成了单亲孩子。在我工作的学校有很多的单亲孩子,他们的内心因着缺少了那一块田地而有所空虚,我是略知一二。此时此刻,我是真切的身同感受。而这永恒的缺失,唯有天父和耶稣的爱,才得以填补。  

我感谢天父,因为在我幼小和成长时,甚至是我成家立室的时候,我都有一位父亲。疼爱我,帮助我,让我有一个活生生的榜样学习如何成为一位父亲。我爸爸不是一位完美的父亲,当然我也不是,谁认为自己是呢?可是我知道爸爸他已经尽了他最大的努力爱我们,负责任的照顾我们。爸爸,谢谢你。

其实一开始真的很难接受爸爸已经走了的事实。昨早凌晨一时赶到医院时,看着医生说的那一段经典的对白,感觉一点都不真实。带着沉重的脚步一步步的走向病房,听着姐姐们的痛哭,看到爸爸就像平常那样躺在病床上。不同的是,无论我怎样的呼叫爸爸,爸爸,爸爸  爸爸都没有回答。可我还等着奇迹的发生。

种种的片段在脑海飞快盘旋。小时候跌倒爸爸帮我涂药、扶着我教我骑脚踏车、淹水时爸爸让我坐在澡盘里像坐船、有一次没有做功课爸爸被叫到学校,班主任给了我重重一鞭,回家后爸爸再请我吃藤条大餐、还有一次我们睡午觉直到水淹上床才惊醒,差点把妈妈气到断气、中学时和爸爸象棋大战几百回,直到爸爸再也赢不了我,我开始发现我成长了,而爸爸开始衰退。

读大学时,每当我半夜回到吉隆玻,爸爸就会到Puduraya用摩托车载我回家。那一晚,当我和爸爸停在无人的红灯前,说暗中的事情上帝仍然察看,爸爸说,“阿邦,你信了耶稣后真的很不一样了。”这一句话给了我信仰上很大的信心。我也回问他,“那你几时要回到教会啊?”当时他答应退休后会回到教会。结果他真的信守诺言。我的见证让他归回耶稣;他回到教会后努力的读经祷告,参加乐龄团契,骑着老摩托车到教会作礼拜,结果也成为了好见证,让姐姐们也回到教会的怀抱。

人生是很矛盾的,人的智慧也很有限。有时我不知道是爸爸还在医院受苦好?还是现在他离开了好?是或淋着雨,或穿越车龙骑摩托车来回医院好?还是再也不需回到那间医院好?是爸爸再多一天就七十三岁好?还是爸爸今天在天堂开生日派对好?

上帝的话语给予人安慰。

凡事都有定期、天下万务都有定时。生有时、死有时;栽种有时、拔出所栽种的、也有时;杀戮有时、医治有时;拆毁有时、建造有时;哭有时、笑有时;哀恸有时、跳舞有时;神造万物、各按其时成为美好,又将永生安置在世人心里,然而神从始至终的作为、人不能参透。传道书31-411

上帝的旨意是美好的,上帝的时间更是准确。只是我们的目光太肤浅。我们只珍惜眼目所能见的。以为失去了生命,便永远隔绝。

但现今你们既从罪里得了释放、作了神的奴仆、就有成圣的果子、那结局就是永生!罗马书622

昨晚钟传道说到再见永别,这给了我们一家很大的安慰。我的大儿子Matthew问到,爷爷做什么?我告诉他:爷爷is sleepinghe’ll wake up in heaven, we’re going to see him again. So, shh... Let him rest.”因为知道爸爸去了哪里,也知道我们将和他再会所以我们才得到安慰。现在我最大的愿望和祈求就是妈妈也愿意把她的生命交给耶稣和上帝。

感谢那么多的亲朋戚友,同事,邻居,教会的弟兄姐妹到来致敬及给予各种方式的帮忙。感谢乐龄团契的诞生让爸爸在有生之日也能经历在基督里委身学习。

感谢亲爱的天父能够让我们三姐弟同心合力把爸爸的遗言和遗嘱一一完成,不再有遗憾。

愿荣耀归于上帝。